How to Stop Comparing to Others

Comparing yourself to others made you feel lost. It deprives you of joy and makes you feel miserable. The self-doubt you are feeling played out in many areas of your life. Dates are doomed to failure because you do not feel good about yourself from the start and you feel truly worthless.

Here are some tools you can help yourself:

Name your inner critic

Give your inner critic — that critical voice inside that points out all of your perceived inadequacies — a name. It is agonizing to hear how this voice in your head berates you and thinks you are never good enough. Naming gives it less power. You can recognize when she speaks up. Start a conversation with her. Be your own best friend and discuss her feelings.

By following this rule, you can understand where some of your insecurities coming from and unpack these feelings.

Keep a record of achievements

When you compare yourself to others, you focus on all of their strengths and achievements and ignore your own so keep a record of all the good things you have done.

It does not matter what they are: if it is something you feel proud of, make a record of it. Soon, you will have a bulging folder of things you have accomplished over the weeks.

Looking at all achievements, both big and small, bolsters your self-esteem.

Practice self-care

Self-care can involve honest and continuous introspection. It is a process of looking inward and seeing what you find. You can jot down your thoughts, particularly when in a self-esteem spiral. Once these thoughts are on the page, you can observe them and decide whether or not they are true or just a result of feeling inadequate. Then you are able to unpack them and decipher where they may have come from.

It is not always easy. Confronting some of your darker feelings is hard, but looking them straight in the eye gives you the power to begin moving forward.

Shaking off comparison can allow you to enjoy life. It is important to regularly look inward to confront uncomfortable emotions.

Breaking free from comparison is not a linear journey. There are bumps in the road, moments of insecurity and doubt. There will always be someone prettier, more talented, intelligent, bubbly, or outgoing. The trick is knowing the unique value of what you bring to the world.